I had the blessing of being able to attend a women’s VBS here where I live. The bible study really hit me hard…the scripture readings seemed to be talking directly to me! The theme for the study came from Psalm 18, verses 1-3.

After the events of the past few years, where there were so many things that were tearing my marriage apart, it seemed as though God reached down and restored everything. But, that restoration didn’t happen until my husband and I both admitted that these issues could not be solved under our own strength. After many tears, prayers (more like just crying out wordlessly), counseling, talking, more tears, we both realized that we were too willing to listen to the world. You know, the voices that tell you that divorce is OK, “alternative lifestyles” are OK…and yes, I did have biblical grounds for divorce. HOWEVER…was divorce really what God wanted for us? Did He really want us to split up and just go further into sin? The answer to that was a resounding NO! So, slowly, and with a HUGE help from the Holy Spirit, we have come back to where we belong.

I stumbled across Psalm 51 the other night…and it hit me right between the eyes. If you’re not familiar with it…please, stop right now and read it. It’s posted on the wall above my desk. It was one of those moments when I feel God saying “STOP…sit down and listen to Me. I have the answer to what’s rolling around in your head and stressing you out. This is for Me to solve, not you…” (and yes, this happens to me quite a bit these days).

I’d been praying for the Lord to open doors for ministry in areas that were near and dear to my heart, and for so long, there didn’t seem to be any doors opening. I prayed over and over for these things, and the answer I always got was “not yet”. And, of course, being the impatient, imperfect human I am, I wanted to know why…now I know why. I needed to be able to be honest with myself, with the Lord and with other people. The things that I’d kept hidden, for fear of shame needed to be brought out into the open.  Once I was able to lay it all out before the Lord in prayer, to stand before Him and be able to say that I had truly messed up…in a HUGE way…and wanted so badly to make it all right before Him, He answered my prayers in so many absolutely fantastic ways! I have no idea where this road is leading, yet I will walk it firmly believing that He is guiding me each step of the way. It’s not going to be especially comfortable in some ways, but it will be right where HE wants me to be…and unlike the rich young ruler, I am willing to give up whatever it is HE wants me to give up to follow Him.